Testiclesas fresh as possible (frozen is fine too)
1quartwater
90gramssaltroughly a heaping ⅓ cup
10.5gramsroughly 2 teaspoons pink curing salt (sodium nitrite)
2Tablespoonpickling spice
2cupsdark brown sugar
2dried bay leaves
Instructions
Combine the water, salt, pickling spice, brown sugar, bay leaves and pink salt and bring to a boil to dissolve. Chill the brine. Trim the testicles of their outer sheath if attached (you may or may not have to, depending on your supplier).
Put the testicles in the brine, ensuring they're completely covered, then refrigerate.
After 4 days, bring a pot of water to a simmer, turn off the heat, add the testicles and allow to sit in the hot water for 10 minutes for small testicles like from lamb or deer, or 15 minutes for beef, then remove and chill in cold water. The idea here is to gently cook them so you can remove the membrane, but not with so much heat that it bursts, which ruins the attractive egg shape.
Remove the testicles from the water, dry with a paper towel, then, using a sharp paring knife, carefully remove the inner membrane to reveal the inner meat. It will be soft and flubbery. If you have time, allow the peeled testicle(s) to sit uncovered in the fridge for a few hours or overnight before smoking, to help for a nice smoky skin, or pellicle.
Transfer the testicles to a pan, put in the smoker, and smoke the testicles at 225 degrees until an internal temperature of 145-150F, and no higher. This is roughly 1.5 hours. Then chill, uncovered, to form a pellicle.
The smoked “oysters” are now ready to serve, and will keep refrigerated for 4 days. Serve with crackers, mustard, pickles and cold cuts.
Notes
Double marinated testicles If you really want to go the extra mile, try this. Add a few crushed herbs, a dried bay leaf or two, and a smashed clove of garlic, some hot chili, or other seasonings to some oil--enough to cover the testicles. It doesn't have to be fancy oil, whatever you have is fine. heat the oil and aromatics until simmering, then chill completely. Slice the smoked testicles ¼ inch or so thick, then pour the cooled, aromatic oil over them and let them sit for another day. Excellent on a sandwich.Smoked and fried If you like fried rocky mountain oysters, you're in luck. Since the testicles are naturally, err, juicy, they keep a really moist texture and can be breaded and fried after smoking. Now say smoked fried balls five times fast. Scaling for large batch testicle cooking This is a small amount of brine, adjust as needed.